Aghast

Halloween is around the corner and I’m thrilled!

I adore horror year-round, but once fall sets in I really get a chance to lean into it. Bring on the ghost stories, skulls, matte black everything, binging eerie movies or suspenseful tv shows, candy, haunted houses, and dressing up! Regardless of how much I love Halloween, something always still manages to scare the shit out of me.

I’ll set the scene: I’m on my way to a party after spending far too much time on the details of my costume. I arrive and gush over everyone’s creativity. We’re about to decide between rewatching The Haunting of Hill House or Bly Manor and I’m pumped. But a shadow flickers in the corner of my eye. So I turn and there they are, waiting for me. Nothing is as unsettling as seeing a poor imitation of yourself, bronzed to death in an outfit that’s meant to mimic a shari when it just looks like an elaborate scarf that is one breeze away from falling apart. How does this keep happening??? Spooky season is one of my favorite times of the year… until I have close encounters with beings even more terrifying than Pennywise the clown.

Unfortunately regarding South Asian attire, a chill creeps up my spine long before Halloween, in a very sunny atmosphere. Like the cheery beginnings of Midsommar, it all starts with festival season. Parallel to the film, one instantly feels something is off. Instead of elaborate flower capes, the crowds descend adorned in tiklis and paisley patterned “henna tattoos”. As leaves glide off trees and the air is crisp, shops fill with costumes including kurtas, kameez sans shalwar, pagris as “dessert prince hats”, ridiculously tone-deaf “sexy” niqabs or burqas, awfully racist “terrorist” depictions, and Bolly ho getups. 

October 31st rolls around and its Revenge of the Unaware Basics 2; the gory sequel nobody asked for. Feel free to scream now. It’s a classic shock factor every year. You thought you got rid of the villain after stabbing them once. Wrong- turns out they’re still alive and thriving. Oh, and they’re definitely still coming for you. 

It wouldn’t feel right talking about this without mentioning the many other forms of cultural appropriation afflicting my non-Deshi friends of color. We’ve seen sombreros and ponchos with mustaches, warbonnets and Native American jewelry, geisha outfits, cornrows or dreads with grills and a dashiki, grass skirts and coconut bras misrepresenting the art of Native Hawaiian hula, La Catrina skeleton paint meant to be worn on the Day of the Dead, transphobic gender-swapping costumes, Brownface and Blackface. Sadly I could go on easily. As BIPOC folks we are traumatized enough in our daily lives. Can’t we just have this one day? 

Culture is appropriated in endless crashing waves with the public feeding on everything from spices and medicines to music and dance to skincare and so much more. Whether the damage is intentional or not, it’s still harmful. When folks cling to the innocence of not knowing any better, it’s a glaring signal they should probably get to know us, in the vast varieties we South Asians come in, before even considering mirroring us. And when people dress a certain way to mix it up and be different, it encapsulates the whole point. Deeming someone “fascinating” from a culture you don’t understand is exoticizing them. It’s abhorrent; we aren’t foreign specimens. I look forward to the day this western-centric mindset is hacked to pieces with an ax that happens to be lying on the ground.

I’m not in a costume when I wear Bangladeshi clothing. I’m not playing dress-up for Eid, weddings, or dawats. My apparel is normal whether that’s news to some or not. My clothes are not a new trend. They come embroidered with a robust history. There is nothing “boho” about it. My religion and traditions are not party themes. Predictably, celebrities are not helping. Let’s flip through the gallery, shall we? We have Gwen Stefani, Iggy Azalea, Madonna, Vanessa Hudgens, Kim Kardashian, Heidi Klum, Selena Gomez, and again the list goes on. And just because this happens to us doesn’t mean we are exempt from doing the same thing to others. We should all do our research especially before celebrating this delightfully bloodcurdling holiday!

So is it appreciation? It is certainly not ‘appreciated’ when someone swoops in like an evil spirit taking over your body, pretending to be you “for fun”. Because they get to wake up the next day and be rid of the stigmas and stereotypes that we deal with daily. Can wearing South Asian attire ever NOT be considered appreciation? I’d say so if one is invited to a cultural or religious event like a wedding. Hopefully, that entails being close to a friend of said religion or culture, increasing the inclination to learn. If anyone reading this is invited to dress in Deshi clothing please call the pieces by their proper names. I don’t see any skirts, wraps, or bodices in the vicinity. And if you encounter pouty lips when explaining why someone shouldn’t wear a plastic lai, kimono, or lehenga, ask them to sit in that discomfort. Ask them why they feel entitled to other people’s communities while knowing next to nothing about them. 

I can’t be the only one who has heard, “But you’re in western clothes all the time!” Ok...? Did anyone ever tease you about your clothes? Did neighbors stare at you on the street when you donned traditional garb? Have you ever felt like you had a target on your back because of how you or your family was dressed? No?? I didn’t think so. Sometimes I wish I could trail people like The Grudge and haunt them for attempting to play devil’s advocate with me. Anyways I’m sick of being asked, “It’s clothing, is it really that serious?” Yes, it is! South Asia has a colonial history. The exploitation of our resources led to capitalistic gains. Just because brands are concocting a formula on another sneaky scale today doesn’t mean it’s acceptable. The relationship is not reciprocal when there is an unbalanced power dynamic in our society.

During the spooky season, there is a real fear. It’s more frightening than any jinn, alien, witch, bhoot, or even doll that comes to life. It’s like racing through dystopian Georgia in the Walking Dead, catching your breath only to be chased further. Yes, I’m referring to appropriators as walkers. They roam around surprisingly fast, yet oblivious, causing havoc among everyone around them. They decide to peel off our skin, put it on for one night, and toss it away the very next day. It’s scary. Instead of watering down aspects of our lifestyles to make them more palatable to western perspectives, we should be celebrated for the intricate nuances of South Asian communities and absolutely loving our culture the way it is. Our humanity does not exist for the cursory amusement of others.